I have sent my utmost fear into test. 

Pending for an outcome. 

Praying hard and hoping well.

God has indeed placed me in a higher field.

 

Searching more, seeking truth. 

All I yearn is the eternal reciprocal feeling.

Going on fast, hot and passionate. 

Embarking into a whole new journey, 

and injecting something that has never been like in the past.

The best of the past be the worst of the future.

I am confused. Confused by what people have said to me. Confused if I have chosen the right path. 

If I have taken the alternative, would the result be the same? 

I paused and I thought,

never have I recognized such emotion and words. 

————————————-

Standing tall and breathing hard. 

Howls of wind is what she could hear.

She recorded her confessions, and turned it all around.

Little did she know spies are all around.

Spinning fast, things go vast.

All she could capture is nothing but hurt.

She cried out loud, smile to herself.

It’s all too late when she found herself trapped in too deep.

I wasn’t prepared for such shortcomings.
It was the first time my emotions are running so wild.
So chaotic that I couldn’t control my thoughts.

Funny questions you asked.
Make the ever so peaceful world churned like a propellor.
At some point of time,
I see the similar attitude you had for others.
At some other time,
I feel your seriousness.
All in all,
it was kind of bitter sweet.

Wanting to know what’s on your mind.
I began to come up with ways.
Ways to speak into your life.
Ways to mark down a significant impact in your life.
Desire to be the prominent one in your heart and memory lane.

Here I proclaim,
I shall not be the same old silly me again.
I shall not mould myself into some foolish doll.
For all these could all well be prevented to a large extent.
All I need is to avoid such emotional and desirable feelings I had.
All I need is restricting my imagination and thoughts running wild.
I need to stay calm, determined.

I can do it.
Yes, I can.

Father Lord, in You, I find my peace.
In you, I bend my knees.
You are Lord of heaven,
You shall reign in all the earth.
I humbly bow before your majesty.

The Lost Sheep

Many times one may feel like a lost sheep. You don’t know where to head to, there is no direction ahead. You see no vision. You live your life daily with the same differences. When you begin to reminisce the past events, it doesn’t spark any satisfaction, however the question “What is the purpose of my life?” come past your mind.

Roaming in the small apartment, settled down with a cup of hot coffee, staring out of the windows, seemingly the wonders of life have to be seek and captured of. Conscientious mindset provokes one to carefully take charge on one’s own life. It creates self awareness. On the other hand, self defense and over sensitive may just growl out of your behavior, delving for victory. That is when you begin losing yourself, and your life. It has controlled over your life. That is a sheer sign of despondency.

having a series of weird dreams recently
horrifying and bemusing
it’s like a series, in chronological order
people i knew appeared like a gust of air
disappeared when i am frantically searching for an answer
what more can i expect?

went for my friend’s 23rd birthday party – poolside party
awesome i would say indulging in beer, liquor or soft drinks
hungry party goers waiting for the BBQ food
music blasting
but kind neighbors did not give a damn* about it
that’s cool
coming together as a universal races,from Chinese to Caucasians.
Ended well with a nice speech from the birthday dude.
cheers . . .

my 21st birthday
it shall be cozy with…….FRUIT JUICES ONLY
but, most peeps will be in army. will it be crazy still???
(questioning ^^)

Thank God that my Mom’s operation went smoothly.
However, she needs to rest at home for a week or 2.
I shall be a woman NOW.
Take charge!

when we get out of control, this is what we’ll become

 

Humans can get quirky at times. And so do our physical self. 

From left: Me, Kenrick, Jokong, Lennard

Strap-on

If all things on Earth stop production, my heart will never stop beating for you. 

What a mushy sentence I could imagine a couple might whisper. 

But nonetheless, both parties enjoy such ambience. 

Taking a stroll down the back of your home,

Being nostalgic about your past life can be sweet yet bitter at times

So why does your voice still resounds in my mind?

Holding on to the last strand of hope,

you slumbered down on your bed without even looking back.

Scuffling over the obscure intuition, 

I opened my eyes realizing that all was just a dream, 

dream that reflects events that had happened years ago…

All goes on….

 

Cheers

I have been trying to widen my chinese library, so I start with chinese song. And I came across this song. Sung by Yoga Lin. And I love it.

I have Asian hits recently. And he’s the only Chinese celebrity that makes me prefer Asian guys.

Getting out of hand with Chinese idioms, I can still managed to come out with a short poem. Proud of myself, yea.

Rewind

结束了， 心情开 始 乱了。（一切将成为过去）

舍不得， 却无能为力。 （太迟了）

回个头， 却忘了如和去爱与狠。（空虚的我，已感到疲倦）

新的一页， 将在眼前。 （笑容页露出了）

真的结束了，回家吧。 （放手吧）

This poem actually reflects my perception on one affair. No matter how hard I try to digress myself from having such, it’s still part of my agony journey. Nonetheless, history will never change and may repeat itself. The only way is to have the upper hand getting backflow of time.

Cheers.